Kathy pretty much just said what I was thinking earlier today. It's hard to know if I've become a
better person because of the relinquishment experience or not. I don't know who I would have been if I had kept my son or how my life would have been different.
I do know that placing my son for adoption affected me in many areas of my life, almost all of these unforeseen at the time. For sure, my life is a
different one than it would have been if I had either raised my son or had not become pregnant in the first place.
I think many of the strengths I've gained during my lifetime have come out of the adoption experience, from having to live and deal with the consequences. I speak up loud and clear whenever I see someone getting bashed unfairly. On the other hand, though, I always did have a problem with keeping my mouth shut...I was always in the "front lines" of the war protest movement during the Vietnam war, and I was just a kid at the time.
The one thing that I've learned from adoption and relinquishment is that life is not a simple thing, that there are many "gray" areas. I've learned that even when people do what they consider the "best thing", it often isn't good enough, or it has unforeseen consequences. I've learned that each and every one of us in the human race have frailties and faults, strengths and positive attributes. And I've learned how to accept people for who they are.
I love this forum, these boards. I love the support and encouragement we give each other. I love how all three sides of the triad reach out to each other here and learn how to see the human being behind the label. I love the honesty here, and the willingness to work out problems among ourselves. I think we're an awesome group.
