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Kids with prenatal exposure to alcohol don't have the ability to have cause and effect. You have to treat the child as if he has brain damage...which he has! You have to be his external brain and limit his world.
On top of that you need very specific counseling, with an attachment therapist. Have you been to one?
There is hope for this kid, but you and dw have to be on the same page and totally committed to helping him heal. I know it's hard! I have 4 kids with RAD, 3 are completely healed. One we are still working with.
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