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Originally Posted by feelingreyt
I don't believe that contact should end between father and daughter. BUT I do think that if the OP really wants her stepdd to understand how this is affecting K, she may have to end contact between these 2(J & K). I'm not saying forever either. Just until J realizes how her actions are causing K a lot of emotional turmoil.
I believe that K saying she would rather go into foster care than to ever live with her bmom or bgrandma says A LOT!
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You are so right and I never read from your post that you thought their relationship (daughter and dad) should be severed. I think you are right that it is going to take something as serious as NO contact for awhile to get their (J and her mom's) attention.
Some might ask, "Why now? What's different?" The need for urgency or change at this moment is that K is entering adolescence and I should already have really taken a firmer stand with these two. She MUST, developmentally speaking, be firmly grounded in the parents/child relationship before she can successfully separate from it, as is the natural course of growing into teenage years and later into young adulthood. IMO.