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Yeah...she can be pretty cold. She told me she joined a writers group, and confided in her older sister years ago, but I dont know if she has gone to any counseling.
I have tried to let her know I somewhat understand the stigma, but it's hard, not having lived in that era. Plus, the fact my bf was married does not help the situation in her mind.
I got pregnant right out of high school in 1983, and there still was some shame involved, but adoption was not an option for me, as there was no way I could play another role in this triad.
I guess what Im trying to say, is that even though I am HUGE believer in destiny.My adoption story is pretty unique, as she lived in Kentucky at a Cath.Charity maternity home til her 8th month, then was shipped to Ohio, where I was born. Kentucky wanted me to go to a Ky family, as that is where her journey began, but Ohio fought it, b/c I was born there. I spent 4 1/2 months in a Ky foster home until Ohio "won". She has told me over and over again that I should be grateful for my family & my life, as she gave them to me. I have always "thanked" her, even though it seemed so strange that she seemed to be asking for applause for doing something that has caused me pain. So conflicting....
I have always sensed this was a guilt tactic on her part, as a defense mechanism of sorts, but Im over it.
I have given her 22 years to "spill the beans", and she has not. I have only been angry at her once, when she refused to give a vial of blood to participate in a breast cancer gene study. I told her if she wouldnt do it for me, to do it for her "real" daughter. I told her that I was glad she gave me up, b/c I cannot imagaine being raised by someone so selfish. I have 3 daughters. I asked her to do it for them, too. Nada. It was 3 years after that happened that we spoke again.
It has been 2 weeks since that phone call. I am going to add my sibs (three 1/2 bro's and one 1/2 sis)on Facebook, (I already have 1 1/2 bro on my Myspace friend's list, but he hasnt logged in since August)and take it from there....wish me luck.
Linda
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