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DD is embarrassed, frankly, that J is her bmom. She is embarrassed BY J, I guess is more correct. She isn't embarrassed by adoption (she says she intends to adopt when she grows up, too) but wants the whole world to forget that J was first her mother.
I have so far not said these words to J as they seemed hurtful and perhaps needlessly so. I am now thinking that I may have to use them as subtlety has never worked with her before. Thoughts?
What I don't plan on ever telling her is that K made me promise that if "something happened" to both dh and myself, and plans a,b,and c didn't work out for her guardianship, that she would go to foster care rather than being "given back to J or bgrandmom". That is sooo sad. And so enlightening about her feelings.
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