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This is about you, you need to in a respectful way do what is best for you. I think it is great that you are respecting your birth mother, but I don't think it is her call, she has these imagined fears, but don't make the mistake many do and wait for her to die before you try to contact your sibblings. I love the show the Locator, and on it in the intro it says finding the missing pieces is needed to find peace and I think your sibblings are the missing piece for you. I have a weird birth story but am actively looking for a half sister that most likely does not know I exist. Maybe you're half sibling won't want anything to do with you, most likely you will bond over how bizarre your bio mother is and they will be upset that they didn't know about you. Really what do you have to lose? Right now you don't have contact with them, so that is the worst would be them not wanting contact which is exactly where you are now. You ask a good question of what the best way would be, I often think about that if I were to find my half sister. I would guess that partly has to do with what would mean the most to you, would a phone call be your best avenue of talking to them, or are you a person that expresses yourself in writing more and would rather put your heart on the line and wait for them to in return contact you? Personally I am a letter writter but I'd call, I would love to hear my sisters voice. I'm so sorry your birth mother said what she did, obviously she is not a very deep or loving person, she is missing the point of why God put her on the earth. That is all about her and not about you. We were innocent babies, we should not have to be greatful to be here because others made choices they wished they could take back. Good luck and take care.
Amanda
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