|
Kerry- My reunion was very similar. Everything went very well for the first month or so, then she pulled way back. Again, this was almost 22 years ago, and I myself was only 21.
After she pulled away the first time, it was almost 2 years until she contacted me again. Since then, we talk on the phone, maybe once every 3 years.
She once told me she could not accept me as an adult..that I would always be the baby in the corner of the nursery that she was not allowed to hold. Typing that still brings tears to my eyes.
I cannot understand that, as I am not a birthmom, but I try to understand & accpet it. I cannot accept her other reasons, as they are more like excuses to me. She says she doesnt want her children to know she was not a virgin when she married their father. (4 months after I was born. He knew about me, but not my bf) She also does not want to interrupt their "birth order", which to me, is a ridiculous argument. I do not share a history with my siblings, so there was no rivalry, etc.
It's time, though. Its been 22 years. I have come a very long way in this journey, and have really come to grips with my adoption story, and I feel I am very close to feeling as close to whole as I can, and finding them will help tremendously.
I talk to my BF twice a year, and have visited him twice. I also speak with my half sister on his side. They are not "family" like my adopted family is, but they are a wonderful addition to my life, and I am so thankful for that.
Give her time- it's VERY early for her, and she is probably dealing with all those emotions that have resurfaced from your birth.
-Linda
|