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Didi
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you for feeling the way you feel. We've all been there and know what you are going through. Unfortunately I think what many of us have learned is that there is no way of dealing with the pain and grief of any kind of loss other than feeling it and going through it. It's definitely not an easy thing to do. And there is not just one magic thing that works for everyone. You do have to find what works best for you. And you don't have to think about a reunion right now. I would try and deal with all of your other feelings and grief first and when you've hopefully come to an acceptance or a place of healing then deal with any reunion issues at that time. You weren't in control at the beginning of this journey but you are in control now and you need to do whatever it is that is going to help you and try not to worry about anyone else. I know that is easier said than done but you need to take care of yourself. Keep coming here, keep reading, keep posting and reach out to anyone you need to to help. We are all here for you and you are not alone!!!
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