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Didi,
Does the pain ever go away? Yes and no, yes the degree of pain gets less, but no it does not ever go away completely, rather you must find peace with it so that it can find a place in your heart, so that you can be open to all the love around you and have a good life.
You need to find the way to work through your loss of your birth family. Some adoptee's feel the loss more than others, everyone is different and all feelings are valid and have been felt by others too.
You need to find what will give you peace, find an outlet for your pain and grief over losing your birth family. Do you need to find your birth family or know you tried? Start or join a support group for others in the same place? Work towards changing laws relating to adoption? Become a child advocate? Work with adoptees as a counsellor? Understand and embrace your heritage?
Knowledge is how I find peace for what happens in my life (not just being adopted), the more I know the better I can understand and deal with. Figuring out what works for you is trial and error which is the reason you came here.
I hope others can give you something more than I. Search the internet for information, its a good starting place.
Kind regards,
Dickons
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