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Being adopted is a very personal thing. It is subjective - everyone handles it in their own way. Searching is an extremely personal decision. There are a lot of adoptees who do not want to search and this should be respected. I believe that it is very wrong to search for an adoptee's family behind their back, even if your heart is in the right place.
Your husband is an adult and needs to make his own decisions. As his wife you should stand by him and respect his decisions, even if you don't agree. You should never go behind his back and meddle in his birth family history. I know that if my husband were to do that to me I would be extremely distraught. The breach of trust would be something that would likely destroy our relationship.
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