[didi20]

First of all you are my hero for not aborting and I thank you for that...I am an 25 year old adoptee of a closed international adoption...i know nothing about my bmom and would give anything in the world to hear her voice or to have her tell me that she loves me and misses me....i just recently found out that i was the product of a one night stand at a company picnic and that my bmom worked in a paint factory...my abrother told me who is also adopted he read my file...i don't because it hurts too much and i don't know how to handle it...i wish someone had told me what happened earlier because it made me angry at her...i can't really give you advice because i can't handle my own emotions with attempting to deal with my adoption but i would want to hear it from you, however old i was i would want to know and know from you so i could ask you questions and you could answer them just like you told us here, if it was me i would appreciate you loving me enough to give birth to me regardless of the conception and loving me enough to tell me the truth when i asked...i don't know if that made any sense but that's what i would want...like i said i'm in no place to give advice...

also any adoptees out there that can reccommend a good book or way to accept and deal with being adopted...i don't know how and i'm still in the phase of wishing it wasn't true and trying to forget it whenever i think about it...i know that sounds terrible but i've had it bottled up so long i don't know how to get it out and i feel like i'm broken...i hope someone understands me...