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I had a mild preference for a girl when we first started planning our adoption. Mostly because I have a very close relationship with my mom, so I had this image of a daughter that I could share a similar relationship with. I've heard also that the tilt in favor of girls is because women often are the ones really pushing for adoption, and women are more likely to want a daughter. But I had no idea that it ran 90% in favor of girls.
Of course, we knew that because most people want girls, we would probably have a boy if we didn't specify. And once Daniel was placed with us, any vision of a daughter was replaced by the reality of the beautiful baby boy in my arms. I am the mother of a son, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I don't have a problem with people specifying gender. But I do have to wonder what it says about our attitudes towards raising boys that the tilt is so strongly in favor of girls. Just like I think there are perfectly legitimate, sound reasons for specifying race - but the fact that so many people are open to many races, but not AA makes a powerful statement about how AA people are still viewed in our culture. But those are general observations. I can't look at one family and judge their reasons for making those choices or say that they don't have a right to make them.
I will say though, that if what Aclee was told is true - that some people want girls because they are not comfortable with an adopted child carrying on their family name - THAT is appalling! I wonder if someone with an attitude like that should even be considering adoption.
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