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I am always hesitant to tell anyone of any preferences I may have in adoption. Some people are very judgemental, and I personally feel that I am entitled to make some choices. We have adopted twice and are working on our third. All three times we have specified a gender. Yes, I understand that if we got pregnant, we wouldn't be specifying. But this is not pregnancy, and since we have the chance to choose, we ARE choosing.
We have very little control in this process of building our family. Infertility issues, then the uncertainties of the adoption process. If we have the "perk" of choosing gender, then why not?
People should not be made to feel bad because they want to specify gender, or race, or anything else. Not everyone is cut out for older child adoption, or foster care, or special needs. When someone criticizes another's choices, I get the feeling that they are basically saying "take whatever you can get, and be grateful". We should all be able to pursue our dream of a child, of what we hope for in a family, and not have to "settle" for something else.
By using the word "settle", I am NOT saying that any child is worth less than another. I AM saying that it is settling if you are not being given choices and are taking on what you don't really want, or can handle, just to have a child, ANY child. I've actually had someone comment that we had no right to be so "picky" in wanting to adopt (basically) healthy infants, instead of considering older children from the foster care system.
No one should be made to feel badly by specifying a girl (or a boy). If they feel strongly enough about it, so much that they are prepared for a longer wait, then that's their choice.
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