[ocracoke]

Originally Posted by lovemy2boys

I have a question for people who have specified a gender preference.

**DISCLAIMER** This is a question based out of legitimate curiosity - not a loaded question trying to spark a debate. **END DISCLAIMER**


If you specified that you wanted a girl, let's say...and the expectant mom had an ultrasound that confirmed this, but the baby ~ SURPRISE ~ was a boy, what would you do? Would you change your mind and pass on a situation, even if you'd built the foundation of a relationship with the expectant mom? Or is this a situation where you will only commit to a baby that's already been born?

I get it when people have a "wish" one way or another. Heck! I never thought I'd be the mom of 2 boys - I always imagined that I'd have a girl, but that didn't happen, and I'm grateful for how things turned out. But I never really had a STRONG preference either way.

I guess I even understand it when a PP said that they could only afford one adoption, and so they wanted to make sure they "got what they wanted" for lack of a better term.

But what happens in a situation like what I mentioned? Do you change your minds with the child? Or figure that this was God's plan, or however you view it?

I guess maybe you aren't looking for my answer since I am not doing a domestic infant adoption but...

I picked gender and I was doing a toddler international adoption. So I would not run into the situation you described. I know I picked gender but if I had been referred a boy I believe I would still have been so excited about being a mom. If I get to adopt again then I will be selecting gender again -- but this time for different reasons. I have a girl. I also have a 2 bedroom house. Since my children would need to share a room then I would select a girl again. But I would also not be doing an infant adoption this time either (I am not a baby person). My next adoption I will be looking at an older child (the 4-7 year old range). So for me gender is important for the next adoption out of necessity.

Samantha