We had one bio. son when we decided to adopt. As an only child, I had always wanted an older brother. My husband, who has three older sisters, always wanted a brother to do guy things with.
Couple that with the fact that our agency told us that most people wanted girls and that many boys were waiting for homes, and the decision was easy. We would love another boy--other people didn't want the baby boys--so an easy, breezy decision.
Once our beautiful son came home from Guatemala, we suffered yet another unexpected miscarriage. We realized our family was not complete and began the adoption process again. This time, we were really torn about whether to specify a gender. We knew that not specifying meant a boy, so we really talked about it, and finally decided on a girl.
Someone asked why gender selection was so important when adopting, when you can't choose when you get pregnant. Maybe it's simply because in adoption you CAN choose. Many pregnant women-and I was one of them-deep down are hoping for one sex or another. Adoptive parents just have the actual choice. And after suffering years of miscarriages, D & C's, Clomid, etc... I didn't feel an ounce of guilt about choosing the gender. I finally had a choice about something, after dealing with years of infertility and feeling my body was not "in control."
Sidebar: As a middle school guidance counselor, I think boys are MUCH MUCH MUCH easier to deal with, if you can get past the noise, dirt and high energy level.
Carolyn