[stripedpolo]

My husband (an adoptee) is considering reunion with his birthmother. We have talked to a counselor about this and were wondering what the best approach would be. Our counselor had mentioned that one possible way would be for me ( the spouse) to make the call to his birthmother. (Of course when he is ready). Our counselor stated that I would be a good "buffer". And that in many cases contact is first established by someone other that the birthparent or adoptee, a third party of sorts.
My husband wants me to just see if she would be willing to start the process of reunion and then he wants to take it REALLY slow. He is very concerned about getting rejected and then shutting down emotionally and hurting our marriage and the relationship he has with his adoptive parents with who he has a great relationship.
I will and want to do whatever is best for the both of them. I just need to know what I should say once he decides to contact her. I have read books, blogs, any kind of article I can get my hands. I just want to get other adoptees, bmothers and /or adoptive parents advice.
The details of his adoption just came to light recently and have been hard on him. He feels he owes it to her to at least say Thank you for the life she gave him,the things that she gave up in order to give birth & to let her know he had a loving and wonderful childhood.