Hey Keds! Hugs to ya today!
Quote:
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I have to learn to have faith.
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There was this excellent song out a few years back. I can't remember the name of the group... The Stone Roses maybe? I dunno....something like that. Anway, there was a line in the song where the singer is asking God why we're all here and the refrain goes:
To live, to laugh, to love, to learn
That's why we're here
I have always loved that!! So simple yet so beautiful.
Faith...... We each have our struggles with it. Mine have to do with money. Whenever there's a change in my life I begin to worry that I'm going to end up pushing a shopping cart and sleeping in a cardboard box. The old traumas of poverty and the way the poor are treated come to haunt me and then I find myself saying to God over and over again, "Please, please, please, please don't let me live my life out of a car again, please, please." I walk about my house putting a mental price on everything I own so that I'll know how much money I can get at the garage sale in order to eat for a week.
I want to be at that point where I'm unafraid. But it is a long, long journey between the heart with all it's fear and grief and the brain with it's logical answers and cold-hard reasoning.
Some days I look to the sky and fling my arms wide and say, "What a glorious life!! I am so glad I am in it!!" And other days? Well........... on those days I have to negotiate with myself every second in order to stay sane on this planet.
Sometimes faith is simply admitting to others that I want to give up and then waiting for them to reply with kindness, "I been there man. What can I do to help ya? How can I take some of the pain away for ya?"
Wishing you a better day, Keds! :flower