Hi account4net,
Yes you are missing something. A lot, actually.
But I am glad you wrote this, because so many prospective aparents and current aparents say these exact words. Keep in mind I'm not attacking you personally, just the statements.
"...children would get parents and family which they would call their own." In order to create a "family" the children had to lose their true family. This child will grow up knowing--even if it is completely unsaid--that they are not the same as blood relatives. They will know they are replacements, a living testament to the AP's failed fertility. (By the way, the sappy things aparents love to say to their adoptees like "you're a gift", "you are special, you were chosen", are completely untrue. As an adoptee grows up and thinks about the truth of adoption, they know they weren't a gift. They know they are not the aparents first choice, in some cases, they aren't even the second choice. Truthfully, they are a last resort.)
"many parents who need children." Parents should never "need" children-that isn't healthy. It's unstable and puts way too much responsibility on a child who is grieving the loss of their first family.
"the adopted children...would be happy about the experience" Why would anyone be happy to lose their family, ancestry, identity, and self? Pretty much all adoptees suffer from a combination of the following psychological problems, regardless of how "positive" their adoption: identity issues, low self esteem, depression, abandonment issues, not belonging, loneliness, lack of connection, anxiety, social problems, inattenion, impulsivity, defiance, aggression, attachment difficulties and substance abuse. Even if someone "knows" an adoptee and insists this person is "just fine and perfectly happy about being adopted", they really have no idea. Go read an adult adoptee forum, outside of this adoption.com bubble.
To expect the adoptee to feel "happy" is absurd. And if anyone doesn't believe me, I again urge them to go read any adult adoptee forum. Ask questions.
"Am I missing something." I highly suggest anyone who still thinks along those lines (like a lot of people in our adoption = fairytale culture) to read the books The Primal Wound and Journey of the Adopted Self. They're a big help.
Hope that helps! Thanks for listening.