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Originally Posted by Lorraine123
When a child has a problem with lying, its best to not give them the opportunity. Don't ask "are you wearing perfume?" You already know the answer. Say "I see you chose to break the rules and wear perfume, you need to go take a shower and wash it off" or whatever.
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I have to second this. I have a 7 y.o. and lying has been an issue with her since she has been with us (just after turning 4) and this is a huge thing that I have a very difficult time remembering in the heat of the moment
Giving them the opportunity to tell a lie often leads to a bigger incident. In my case I can rant and rave and ask her over and over and "I am giving you one last chance to tell me the truth"! LOL for a half an hour or more. It drives me crazy, it escalates the situation and the behavior. My dad will then walk in (after I have stomped off in frustration , leaving her in her room as punishment
) and say "So, when did you write on the wall?", and she will come clean immediately! Grrrr!
It is a really simple, small thing, but it can really help with the lying. I feel for you and I think that there may be something in what many of the PP's have said regarding attachment issues maybe being at play here. Another issue I have with my DD is trying to find a punishment/consequence that will actually effect her. Because of her history with her biomom she has no attachment to anything; toys, jewelry, etc. So taking things away has virtually no effect on her. The one thing we have found that does effect her is social situations. So, confining her to her room for short periods of time, where she is isolated from the rest of the family and not letting her go on fun outings with friends and family has been something we have found to work. Good luck!