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Originally Posted by thelowlanders
I would just add...
Ask how they were raised. What kind of discipline was used. What did they do for family fun. Are they religious. If possible, I know this sounds wierd, but ...test their patience some how. Do something obnoxious and see how they react. Is it genuine or a put on face.
See how open minded they are on different issues. This will show how flexible they will be in the adventure of parenting.
Hope that helps.
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I think if someone is on the road to adoption, through foster or privately, they have patience. I think that would be a given.
I would like to suggest that you be honest in all your questions and your responses, and honest in your reactions to everyone involved. When you look back on this period in your life, you can rest easy that you dealt with others in an honorable way, and came to your decision based on facts, not on any kind of deceptive behavior. If/when your are reunited with the child, when you have "the conversation" about relinquishing the child, you can look them in eye and tell the story, with no hesitation and no feeling that you were ever, in any way, dishonest in your dealings with the adoptive parents.
I wish you patience, courage, and loving support as you make this very important decision.