When/if it came up I would usually say something like "we're in the process of adopting". As to the placement day, I would say something like "she's been with us since she was two days old". Maybe "she came home on such and such day" would work also. 
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DD: Born 4/06, Fost/Adopt, Home at 2 days old, Finalized at 17 months old
DS1: Born 5/07, Fost/Adopt, Bio Brother of DD, Home at 13 days old, Finalized at 9 months old
DS2: Born 9/07, Bio
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