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We didn't adopt out of birth order - but did adopt REALLY close to our bio son's age. He was 9 (just turned) and they were 6 and 7 at homecoming. There is 31 months total from youngest to oldest. I can only tell you that it has been hard on our oldest son...and he can verbalize quite well (at 12) that the saving grace is that he is still and will always be the "oldest". There is something about that. Is your oldest child old enough to talk about this with you? Can you get her feelings? Obviously, the new "oldest" wouldn't automatically be treated the same - as they'd have to earn privileges, not just get them with age - but think about how hard that could be. If your oldest bio gets to do "more" than your oldest chronologically - how will you deal with that?
Just my thoughts...it's hard to be knocked off the oldest child perch!
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