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My daughter's birthmom had a lot of pressure on her from her family. They actually really loved us but when it came to not long before the baby was born and then in the hospital they were really bad towards her. Her cousin was to be her support person and she bailed saying she just couldn't deal with it. They were telling her they would buy things and all sorts of other things.
She was parenting another child at the time and they had lived in a shelter when she got pregnant with my daughter. She said look - you all didn't do anything to help us before..what makes you think I can depend on you now? She wanted the best for her children and it was tough for her to go against the family but she continues to say it's the best thing that she could have done.
I don't know...I guess I think it's a good thing if the families truly are supportive and helpful with the children...but often times that's not the case. However, often times it is. It's just the way it is - if someone can't care for a child then someone else in the family takes them in...no question.
I don't think this is only within the AA communities. I see it in other ethnicities too. I know that in my family it was always an unspoken thing....children don't leave the family.
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