[aclee]

We say we adopted. We haven't finalized yet, but it wasn't a foster situation, so we knew finalization was just the paperwork. Parents rights were TPR'd etc. If we lost Tyler at this point, even though we haven't "finalized" we would still be losing a son...so we treat him like a son even if it isn't legal yet...most people don't get the whole "legalization" vs "placed" anyway, so it's one less personal thing I have to explain. On his birth announcements we only put his birthday. He was in our arms so quickly afterwards, it would have been weird to me to have two dates on there only a couple days apart. Plus he was technically "in our arms" when he was placed there by bmom, but he was still in cradle care after that, so what day should we have used? That kind of thing. If people ask we say we adopted in January, when Tyler was a newborn. If they ask specifics about when we/did we finalize, or how old he was, we tell them, but it's a lot to get into details with every person.