I'm glad you found this site. There are so many forums here that are very supportive. I feel blessed to have found them, both before we adopted, as we have difficulties with our special needs children, and now after their adoptions are final and they continue to adjust.
My children were severely hurt by their birth family (both physically, emotionally, and developmentally) and though you can't tell my looking at them, they will never be totally "normal." The foster care system is severely dysfunctional, but that doesn't mean it would be better for kids like mine to have remained with biomom.
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I also will want to believe our baby won't grow up angry, confused and full of "issues" that i won't be able to emotionally deal with."
Every child, every family, and every situation is different. Your child may never have the issues you worry about, but I can tell by your posts that even if she does, you will seek out the help and support you and she need. You sound like an amazing, loving mother, and you would be surprised at what you are capable of when it comes to the well-being of your daughter.
I agree with the others, ignore the fanatics who know nothing of the loving, supportive family that you are, and surround yourself with people who will help you and support you.
Hugs and prayers,