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I feel your pain. We spent 3 days in the hospital with a baby girl whose birthmother didn't even want to see her, then the match failed because birthmom didn't sign TPR and CPS stepped in and put the baby into foster care. It broke my heart.
Spend time grieving. Don't try to minimize it for yourself ... it's a real loss. It didn't help me AT ALL when people said that "our" child would find us ... but it DOES get better with time and when the time comes when your child does find you, you heal even faster.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
__________________
2/07 - Started researching agencies
7/13/07 - Signed with agency
8/07 - 10/07 - Adoption put on hold
12/19/07 - Homestudy complete
2/25/08 - Officially waiting
5/29/08 - Matched!! Due 7/08
6/3/08 - Baby F born. Surprise!
6/7/08 - Adoption plan fell through 
7/11/08 - Matched! 20 month old girl and 3 month old boy
7/12/08 - The kids are in our care! Instant Family (just add water)!
3/20/09 - Finalized! We are legally, and in all other ways, a family.
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