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Originally Posted by kakuehl
I know what I would do in the same situation, but my views are formed by my own experiences and beliefs. I would recommend you ask the doctors what the quality of life is likely to be if a resuscitation is attempted. I'm not sure living on a vent, being fed through a tube and unresponsive it really "living" but I've seen families insist on it because somehow they can't let the parent "go."
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Kathy, I think you and I probably share similar views on this. That's why the doctors put my phone numbers on the front of her chart, so they can get a "no code" authorization from me in the event she isn't responsive. The doctor already made it very clear to me what her quality of life would be like in the event of another stroke (which most likely will be a catastrophic one.)
I haven't done patient care in many years now, but I still remember all too clearly my patients who were in extended comatose states or vegetative states. Believe me, I have no problem with authorizing a DNR order if that happens to my mom. I'm just afraid to bring it up to her right now because I think she's kind of afraid that if she even thinks about it, it will "jinx" her in some way.
She has deep spiritual beliefs, as do I, about the afterlife. When I was 21 years old, I had a full-fledged near-death experience when I went into cardiac arrest. And I've noticed this past year that my mom has been bringing up that experience from time to time when we're talking on the phone. It seems to bring her some type of peace to be able to talk to me about it. I think she's doing a lot of thinking and sorting things out in her mind. Hopefully, we'll be able to openly talk about it one day soon...