[qs mom]

I held and rocked Q at least twice a day. I followd some of dr. Art's advice and did it skin to skin contact. I wore a tank top and he wore no shirt. I held him so that his head was near my heart so that he could hear and feel my heart beating.

He fought me, still does when he's mad. It's been 5 years and I know that he still needs this a couple of times a week. When we slack off, but do I pay for it.

I would hold and rock him through the anger, keep telling him that I loved him and kiss him. He would/does scream at me, thrash his head around so that I cannot kiss him. I keep telling him it is ok to get mad, I still love him even when he is mean, nasty, etc. He screams that I'm hurting him. I assure him that I am not hurting him, I love him, he is safe with me. He will then 'break' and cry, snuggle close to my heart, kiss me and tell me he loves me.

This is NOT easy. It broke my heart to hold him through the struggles. To hol d his hands or feet because otherwise he would smack me or hit me. To keep holding him after he bit me so hard that I was in tears and bleeding.

We did a similar thing with little candies. My son likes Sour Patch kids. He likes sour stuff. What we did was, we sat facing each other. I would hold the candy in my hand and touch to his face in different areas, he had to keep his eyes on my hand, I would be sure to bring my hand across my face so that he had to look into my eyes and eventually I would place the candy in his mouth. This may not work for you, because of the eating disorder.

Another thing that really helped the attachment here was 'paint' soap, foamy soap, and that kind of thing. I would put in his skin and draw in it. I would put the paint type soap on his belly and draw his name in it. He would rub his hand in the paint on his belly and try to get it on my face, or hold hands with me so that he could squish the paint between our fingers.

Something you could do with all of the kids is paint with pudding. Maybe the messy fun and licking of fingers could promote sib bonding, and possibly eating. And mom - join the messy fun!

They make edible bubbles. They call them candy bubbles and you can get them at Toys R Us. Q's therapist used this for attachment with him. I did it too. Blow bubbles and then both of you try to catch them on your tongue. We had Cherry flavored ones.