Quote:
|
Originally Posted by SchmennaLeigh
And to proudmum:
Go ahead and do a search on this forum (entire forum, not just this specific niche) for rants from adoptive families regarding terms like real and natural mother. Why are we not to be afforded the same space? What makes us less "right" to discuss it? What gives us less of a right to discuss our feelings? Nothing. We're just following in the footsteps of those who have come before us and questioning something that bothers us. Why does that bother you? Do you have an issue with our emotions? What specifically has bothered you about our plight as opposed to the plight of those dealing with real/natural mom terminology?
|
I dont have an issue with your emotions at all! why should i, they are yours. What i cant figure out is why you have taken ex-mom ( describing a expectant mom & i dont think ex-mom is an appropriate term at all) to be a personal attack on you as a birthmother..saying that ex-mom makes you less of a person etc, when you know that the op that you talk of was meaning emom ( and wrote it the wrong way) ,,,, now if the op had meant ex-mom= bmom then i would be right there with you telling them that that term is beyond offensive,,,,,i dont think it should be used to describe anyone as it is confusing and doesnt sound great,,, so i agree with you all on that,,,.. i am not attacking bmoms,,, i do have issues with some terminology on this site,,, but you know that this person shortened expectant mom the wrong way,,,,, how is this telling you that you are an ex-mom. and also shortening a word ( the wrong way i might add) is completely different to coming up with a word to describe someone.(eg if the person had used ex-mom to describe a biomother)
Yes ex-mom to desribe a bmom is disgusting.....
also i have been guilty of using the wrong terminology myself,,, when i first started posting here there were quite a few of us using " our bmom" someone very kindly pointed out that that term was offensive to them and why,,, i completely saw where they were coming from, appologised and explained that it was not meant in that way what-so-ever and i have never used it again....,,, now saying to this person that ex-mom could come across as derogatory would be very helpful to everyone that is reading the forums.
What it comes down to is "YOU" are the childs mother and "I" am the childs mother ,, thats just the truth of it all really isnt it ?