I am sorry you are feeling all this turmoil. Hormones are about 50% responsible for this , especially the first trimester. Sick, tired swelling in places you never imagined. I am a firstmom, I relinquished 22 yrs ago. I never fell truly in-love wtih my babies until I delivered. I was made to feel it was to late to change my mind and liken it to threats and bribery. I have had an abortion when I was 18..it was my choice...I love having a choice. However I chose to do so because at that time I had a contraceptive called a copper-7. It had gotten lodged side ways and caused me severe pain and infection...after going to Dr. found out I was almost 3 months pregnant..mind you I still had the copper-7 inside me. The doc removed the contaceptive, with great pain, and explained to me he wanted me to see a specialist after telling me they had no way of knowing the effects of copper-7,on the baby. After great lenghts of talking to another Dr. I decided an abortion was the best route. My husband backed me on the decision. I hated the abortion but got over it in a few months. My choice is between me and GOD. I relinquished in 1986, my twins...I have mourned each day since. Not one day goes without aching for them. My life will not be the same ever again. I will continue my search..8,192 days and still looking. Not every person is like me. Some are able to live full happy lives. You have plenty of time to decide. It sounds like you are bonding with your baby already, for it cannot be any other way. Please deliver your baby, hold your baby and love your bay. If after you have done this and can still HAPPILY know in your heart adoption is the right thing, then go for it. The bonding with Mother and Child will never go away, no matter how far away your child is....GODS Blessings ...take you time , you have all the time you need....
