[lalgee]

One time, I had my gall bladder removed. They cut me open about 8-12 inches on my belly, took it out, and then sewed me back up. It was a wound. It hurt real bad when it first happened. Now it is healed up. Now it is a scar. The scar is really really big, a reminder of the wound that I have learned to live with because it is a part of me that will never go away, it seems invisible now, I don't even realize/care that it is there. This is much like I perceive adoption issues to be for adoptees.
There is another part of all this too. Two were separated at birth - two that had been connected physically and many other ways were now torn apart. The two entities that once were one are now apart, and are denied the time period immediately after birth where each of them assures the other of love and a continued bond. The wound not only has to do with the adoptee, but that wound is even more evident and presents itself very powerfully for the birthmother. She is aware of her loss from the first day and is denied any information or contact and has no closure and is not allowed to grieve because everyone wants to keep everything a secret, causing further shame and isolation. That is the wound that never turns into a scar, but perpetually remains open and gaping.
The only thing that will sew up that wound for me so that it can become a healed scar will be holding my son in my arms once again. I am primally wounded.