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Another birthmom suggestion:
Feel free to relate this story about my having to give my son up. I was sixteen, and didn't have many options. I wanted to keep my son so badly. For a week (and on and off for the last twenty-five years) I couldn't stop crying after his birth. My friend and I went to the LDSS office the day I knew he was going to be placed, with the idea of taking him back. My wonderful terapist let me see, hold, and spend as much time with my son as I wanted. He called the adoptive parents and told them they would have to wait till later in the afternoon to come in. I still feel so badly about that, I can't imagine what they were going through too.
Anyway, as I sat down with my sweet baby I had the most wonderful spiritual experience of my life. I was able to stop crying and I heard "he's not yours, he is meant to bless another family" With that I was able to let him go. It doesn't mean I don't love him, and that I don't think about him all the time and miss him like crazy. But the Lord's blessing that day made it tollerable. Tell your adoptive children that they may have come to you in an unusual way, but they WERE always meant to be yours.
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