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Old 09-09-2008, 02:50 AM
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hkolln hkolln is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy_Cat
This of course leads to my question. Why would someone want the children if they didn't know them?

I can't answer this particular question because we knew our niece when we asked for placement, however maybe they are feeling "obligated" to take the kids?

Quote:
Is it a sense of family obligation?

Probably...maybe other family is pushing them to do it? Maybe if you can contact them and let them know your love for the kids that they will allow the kids to stay there?

Quote:
The kids would move to the other side of the country leaving everything they know. Why put the children through that if there was no bond there already?

We moved Alexis 2500 miles from where she was currently to our home. We were the only family member eligible to parent her after the grandparents couldn't take placement. Even though we live across the country doesn't mean loss of contact. We speak to her Grandma at least weekly. Kids move across country alot...adopted kids can move from one state to another also and not even know their new parents. I think if the relatives can work at keeping that communication open between the people the kids have a current relationship with then it will work. We travel there at least once a year or more also.

Quote:
Yes, I'm hurting for me at the possibilty of loosing them, but also I worry about them. I understand why in the eyes of the state family gets priority, but why fight for them if you don't even know them?

I'm sorry you're hurting. Keep an open mind...and try and stay positive. At least if the kids move to the relatives home you can stay in touch with updates and visits. I have stayed in contact with the previous FP's across the country that took in Alexis. It's not easy, but it's doable.
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Helen
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Mom to 2 girls-age 10 and 15

1st MAPP class: 9/9/2006
MAPP class completed: 9/30/2006
Home study completed: 11/2006
Home study submitted for approval: 11/14/2006
Foster License approved! 11/22/2006
Flew to visit Niece for 3 wks 3/2007
Judge rules placement with us 5/2007

Leaving to bring Niece home 6/15/2007
Niece is offically part of our family 6/30/2007
TPR Bio Dad by default 8/9/2007
TPR Bio Mom voluntary surrender 8/9/2007
Adoption subsidy agreement approved and signed 05/2008

Adoption finalization date 7/18/2008! YEAH





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