[athikers]

I have transitioned two sib sets to relatives. The first set, they had never met the relatives and the idea of it made me upset. How are they better off with blood-related strangers than with the people they now see as their parents (us). But, as soon as I met the relatives, I realized that they were going to be a great place for "my" kids, especially as I saw our 10 yo "M" so excited to be with someone she was related to... even if she didn't know her before. We are very pleased with that relative placement and they will soon be adopting our former foster kiddos.

The second relative placement was to a family that was involved and trying to get the kids from the start. The placement is not the "dream" we had for these two kids, but there are many other challenges that contribute to that. These relatives love our foster kiddos very much and are trying very hard to make it work with both kids. We don't know yet what will happen.

It has been hard for me to accept the idea that its always "better" to be with relatives, even when all other factors are not "equal" so to speak. I'm not sure if I do accept the idea actually. But, in my state it is the law, there is no de facto parent status for foster parents, no matter HOW long the child is with us, so we have had to come to terms with kids going to family, known and unknown, perfect fit or not. All the relatives we have been involved with love their little relatives very much and are doing what they think is best.