[mommy2fiveplus]

I have friends who fell from that same tree!

I am the "bread-winner" in our house, with my 45K a year nursing job ( I work midnights). Donnie works part-time as a mechanic but mostly is a stay at home dad.

We have 5 kids plus extras when we have foster placements.

We make it work, we live mostly debt free (sans the mortgage) we live in a rural community in a house that is large but not prestigous (Amish lived here before us). We drive older cars (99 suburban and 94 Toyota Tercel). We do not have cable or satellite.

Everytime we spend money it is well thought out and planned for and I NEVER buy anything full price. I adore Goodwill, Sal Army and just about any other consignment or thrift shop I can find.

My kids are far from missing out. We live on a 10 acre farm surrounded by state land. They have a river a pond woods and a menagerie of animals including horses, ducks, kittens and dogs to entertain them. They have a room full of toys in the basement that they ignore unless it is raining outside.

STILL, two of my good friends who have the same job as I can not seem to make ends meet AND they only have 1-2 kids each!

They both have credit card debt, they drive new cars (payment plus higher insurance), they spend tons of money on stuff I would put on the back burner, and one doesn't own a house and the other is looking at foreclosure.

I don't understand why they make the choices they do but I look the other way and don't worry about it too much, they will learn their mistakes.

I had a moment such as yours last month when the friend who is facing foreclosure spent over $300 on her son's birthday present and over $500 on his party, he is 3 years old. My kids have one joint birthday party in May (a month that nobody's birthday falls in) and I might spend $25 ON EACH OF THEM.

I also felt this way when last X-mas my other friend with one child could not afford to pay her car payment, yet she spent over $500 on her child for x-mas. She was dumbfounded when I told her we spent $300 on all of the kids by taking them on 3 day trip to an indoor waterpark. We let the gifts under the tree be from our family and one each (about $25) from Santa.

It can be frustrating but I just try to live and let live.