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Dear Paige,
I was in here actually to post a question to bdads which I'm still forumlating but thought I'd reply to your post.
You have every right, IMO, to go and see your bdad if for no other reason than to lay some of your curiosities to rest. I mean, why should you have to spend the rest of your life wondering about him, right?
Perhaps first though you may want to correspond by mail for a time....see how he reacts to that first and then take it from there. That way, you have the safety of distance and more control over what you would like to do. Also, you can perhaps get a feel for him by doing this. I have noticed myself even in the short months I've been in the forum that as people write - over time they're personalities begin to emerge. After writing to him for a bit, you will more than likely get a better bead on who he is and if you want to take it further. Also, if he doesn't respond to your letters, then you'll have your answer on whether he's interested or not.
I would also kindly suggest that if you decide to visit him in prison (jail is an entirely different thing) you take time to prepare yourself emotionally.
It's not just the kind of reception you may get from your bdad if you choose to visit (though no one can rightly predict how he may be. He may be fine - he may not.)
Visiting prisons can be quite a harrowing experience - being patted down, searched, etc. Plus the surroundings themselves. It can mess with your head.
Anyway, I wish you luck on your decision. Either way it turns out - if you decide to visit him or not - kudos to you for being strong enough to talk about it here.
Wishing you a great day! :-)
Janey
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