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Originally Posted by hkolln
As for the OP adopting the child...I don't see what harm that would do? Maybe I'm missing something? As long as there is no RU in the future and no qualified family available why shouldn't they be the first people to adopt? The child has been with them and bonded with them? I would hope they would think moving him would be more detrimental in the long run. Maybe the OP can get an adoption home study done and become foster to adopt (if that is possible?). I just don't see how moving him would benefit?
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[quote]because he came in through the adoption program and not through the foster care system they are not letting us adopt[quote]
(From the OP--)
There's no harm at all in having the OP adopt. That's common sense--I have always advocated for children to stay in the family that takes them home from the hospital if bparents cannot parent the child. Why didn’t the OP have/do the license or whatever they needed to do to adopt instead of just foster? Is it because they would get a placement faster, more easily? Helen, BTW, there are two approved adoptive families for this child per the OP.
My point was that the OP made a commitment--to be a foster placement until child went to bparents or to the adoptive home.
I think if our (flawed) system is going to work, people have to keep their word. If you want/plan to adopt, say so at the beginning. If not, you do temp placements and not complain later when you can't keep the child. That is the problem I see--it's not the OP, it's our system overall. When foster parents do not support the social services plan, change their mind—when any of the adults making decisions for a child in “the system” it makes for serious problems and the children in the system pay for it.
Maybe everyone in the foster care system should be foster/adopt automatically. In this case, apparently the OP was only foster.
FYI--I am not cavalier about bonding or RAD--if a child didn't bond with foster parents, they are not doing their job very well, are they? RAD happens when a child is NOT nurtured in the early years and learns to NOT trust adults. A healthy, bonded five-month old can be transitioned to an adoptive home.