I have a question for someone who has taken in relative placements from other states. I will explain my situation, but please understand there is no judgement towards your situation. I simply hope you can help provide some insight and perhaps make me understand a little better. Here goes.
I had two little ones that are going towards TPR. Mom has fled the state and Dad is an addict that honestly, I think loves the kids, but is hooked. Bio Dad has family in the state and they are to old to take them. They have said they are going to petition the court to let the children stay with us. Since grandparents are not able to take the children DFCS of course went looking for extended family. Now there is an Aunt in another state that has met the kids exactly once who says she is interested in them. We obviously do not know if she will qualify, but it is scary for us none the less.
My DH and I love the children like our own and just yesterday the little princess said she wished she could stay in our house forever. We have not told her about the possibility of living with the Aunt. Honestly, I do not even know if she remembers the Aunt because she was so young when she met them.
As far as I can tell Bio Mom and Aunt are not particularly close and since last I heard Aunt was living with her boyfriend in his basement she would have a lot of work to do to be able to take the children. I have been very supportive of reuniting with family when that has been the goal and I knew the children knew and loved them. This however is completely different. They would be moving in with a stranger, not someone who they have had any relationship with.
This of course leads to my question. Why would someone want the children if they didn't know them? Is it a sense of family obligation? The kids would move to the other side of the country leaving everything they know. Why put the children through that if there was no bond there already? Yes, I'm hurting for me at the possibilty of loosing them, but also I worry about them. I understand why in the eyes of the state family gets priority, but why fight for them if you don't even know them?
Although I know you do not know these people any insight would truly be appreciated. Is there anyone who has seen children thrive through this kind of situation? I just want to better undestand.
Thanks.