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A year and a half ago I wrestled with this exact same issue. My son's bmom posted his pictures on her facebook page along with comments that implied to those who don't know her well that she was parenting our son. Like in interests she wrote "hanging out with my son." Despite my discomfort, I didn't say anything. I realized that as long as she didn't post his name (she didn't) or personal information there was no way anyone would be able to track him down. It was probably "safer" for her to post the pictures than for me to do so since he doesn't live with her.
The real issue for me was I was having my role as "mom" tested. That is why I was truly uncomfortable. I didn't want to share him. but in time, as I bonded with my son and became confident that I am indeed his mom, all of my discomfort went away. In a few months time she cleared all the references that implied she was parenting him. She did this on her own as part of her own process. I am glad now that I didn't interfere.
I e-mail her pictures weekly but she hasn't updated her page with his pictures since June. I feel a little sad about that! I want her to proud and to show him off! But she is now dealing with the adoption in her own way.
This is how it worked for me, and I understand that your situation and relationship with your child's birthmom may be different. But I have found that my son's birthmom had to go through a lot of steps before the adoption was really real to her, and posting pictures and celebrating her son's arrival was very important to her grieving process.
Good luck and congrats on your new baby!
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