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Originally Posted by AngelArrow
Robin Kay I do agree with you at some point it was only two moves, but what about Foster parents have the right before an adoptive home to adoped they foster kids? Where did that came in to play? The child already had a routine in her house plus a bond with the foster parents so why move this baby again? even if the foster parents were only certified to foster. I think that people should be entitled to change their minds later on they is nothing wrong with that we see bp do it all the time, but that is a different topic. it is not just that foster parents fall in love with they Foster kids it is also the bond these kids have with they foster families before being moved into an adoptive home even if it is a baby . Sometimes I think we need to look at the bigger picture here instead only the small prints when it comes to kids in the foster care system.
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#1 Foster parents have no right to anything regarding their foster children. They have wants, needs, desires, but no rights. I think we all know that.
#2 If you have a license, if you have made an agreement, you do not have the right to change your mind. Foster parents are not at all on the same footing legally or even morally as birthparents, so to say foster parents can change their mind because birthparents do makes no sense.
#3
I am looking at the bigger picture. In this case, the system is working pretty well. Children are limited to two moves if bparent makes an adoption plan in these kinds of cases. That is pretty good given the examples/situations on this board. But it only works if everyone cooperates, if everyone does what they are supposed to do.
Bonding is always the argument for foster parents to keep a child they want--and it's a good argument. However, if the foster parents have done a good job, and it sounds like these ones have, the child can be transitioned carefully and lovingly.
I am concerned about people using the foster care system as an adoption agency. That is exactly what is happening here. The OP volunteered and agreed to be a foster family for safehaven babies, agreed not to adopt. Now they have the cute, sweet baby, and they want to keep the baby. When stores do this to customers they call it switch and bait. Offer a product at a given price, but they are out of that, so while you're here, why not buy this other product at a higher price? So, offer to foster and not adopt, but as soon as you get a child and the calendar flips a few times, claim bonding, scream what about RAD--and adopt the child.
My point is not to be uncaring about the OP--my point is, this kind of plan does not work if the folks fostering in any way are looking to adopt. There are families out there who only want short term placements-these are the folks who could/should do this kind of situation.
In this case, I hope baby stays home, clearly he is loved and wanted, regardless of whether the OP promised to foster only.