[JillnChris]

Originally Posted by dpen6

If any adoptee "needs" to feel grateful they will figure it out for themselves. To be brought up and totally told you "should" feel grateful because ofyou have food and shelter and you almost didn't is in a very subtle way telling that person that you really were less desrving then non adopted peole and don't ever forget whence you came....thats how it could be taken. It makes theshouldars droop a little more.

NOW...you have a very american kid that is starting to be not grateful like all kids do...then its time to tell them they should be grateful for what they have, ALL children need to learn about graitude..its the name of the game...BUT not BECAUSE they are adopted. Like I said, most of us adoptees DO figure that out for ourselves and I was NEVER told to be grateful because I was adopted by my parents. I would get a kick in the pants if I was not grateful for todays blessings. Strangers use to tell me how "lucky" I was and I hated it. It made me feel much smaller as a little one.

No matte what the situaion, at first glance adoption for a child is not something to be grateful .....its intially a great loss of biology that is big. Even if my bio's were attitlla the hun and spouse!(Which they were not)

Perfectly said! And who better to say it than an adoptee?