If i could i would thank each and every one of you for your valuable input and honest responses. I am so thankfull to those first mothers that responded and told me they care about the AP's feelings too and avoid natural, real mother terms so as to not hurt the feelings of the nurture moms. Those words warmed my heart.
Thank you every one for letting me know that "real" is definatly offensive for all.
I have gathered that its best to find out by what term the "other" mom is most comfortable with.
Probably i like maschocistic pleasures(enjoy pain.LOL !) and i keep going to that other board where often AP's are insulted and called- baby stealers, baby buyer,infertile making them mentally unstable , on the subject of an Adoptive mother attempting B.feeding a new born they are labelled as paedophiles or doing something that makes them sick, blah blah. Yeesh i don't know why i can't stop going there. :-(
From what i have read today on many boards and learnt for each family in this triad, its been a different experience. Every one speaks from their experience.From the circumstances, age of the child when he/she was relinquished, grief level, etc etc.
Thank you mommies. As usual you brought me comfort and cleared my head.
