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Beth, The best thing you can do is be honest from the start. My bmom is a drug addict and my bdad is an alcoholic. It is hurtful, especially since I have siblings that they still have. My parents were always honest with me. I remember when I was little my mom and I would pray for my bmom and brother before bed. I know that I would have been very angry to learn that they with help info from me. I am very glad that they shared everything with me.
I do believe that you should keep the identity of the bparents to yourself until your son is 18 though. that way you can maybe put it all together for him and tell him that you have it if he wants it. He may not want to know. My little sister was adopted also and she could care less if she ever finds out who her bparents are.
Because of my situation, I do not like closed adoption. I missed so much in my siblings lives, both the older one and the younger on. I do know that closed adoption is sometimes the best thing for the child but its hard when we are older. It sounds like the bparents have issues that need to be worked out and in your case a closed adoption sounds good.
I really do believe that being honest with your son is the best thing you can do for him. Be sure to remind him that you are his parents and that you love him no matter what. But also, don't make it sound like his bparents didn't love him.
Good luck and keep us all posted,
Erika
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