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Actually I value your advice. The other night dh was asking about the two of us getting away, but relatives won't keep M. I told him the only person I knew who could handle him and not be conned lived in some other state and was someone I had never met! I was talking about you lucy.
He has never, ever asked for a snack, even when he is good, he never wants snacks or desserts, and like if I leave him with dh he will go all day without eating, even when he has been doing good. It will never occur to him to ask for food. I have been unable to find anything in the records that would explain the sudden stopping of eating and the fact that three children stopped at the same time. There were a couple of incidents that might have made it worse, but all were after he had stopped eating. He was hospitalized for the eating once and then later for surgery to move his testicles to where they were supposed to be. Those both happened after though. Also when he first heard about us, it was well after he had stopped eating. At least six months if not longer from what I can tell. I do know that the nun he was close to first told him we were black and then when we actually filed the paperwork she threw a tantrum about her son being stolen (this happened with him in her arms) then she was sent away and then he was sent to an adult facility. I would suspect all of those things of triggering it, but he had already been not eating at that time for several months and had already been hospitalized once. When he stopped eating at first was before we had even heard of him. He ate well for the first few weeks we had him. He also ate in the adult facility, but he was only there two months before we got him. He won't eat breakfast at school. His aid is not there and he will just refuse to go to the cafeteria, he will go instead to the auditorium where they have morning assembly and wait. From what I could find out about the beginnings of this they were short handed and many of the kids in his unit had to be tube or spoon fed. M and his two friends were able to feed themselves. One time one of them was not feeling well and did not eat. The response from the caregivers was lots of attention, promises of extra priveleges or treats, etc.
The therapist the psychiatrist is trying to get us into does specialize in attachment and other issues. I have contacted every attachment therapist in the state. The ones that are taking new patients either didn't sound right to me, did not take insurance, had long waiting lists or wanted me to make a committment that I could not make with other children in the house. (ex, taking him to therapy several times a week and me attending a parenting class twice a week, all a three hour one way drive from here.). One would give me no references or other documentation, but wanted to move in with us for an indefinate period of time. Another insisted the children participate in this camp thing, where they did lots of physical stuff like rock climbing that you can't do with one arm and no legs. So we are hoping that the therapist she found will take him. She said this person normally only works with teens but not younger kids, but she is going to try to talk her into taking him. She also knows another one that is not taking new patients, but she thinks maybe she can talk him into it. He does not take any insurance though. So I am not sure how we will pay for it. Probably by going into debt.
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