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Does the term first,natural,real mom make you feel sad.
I recently had a debate with some Adoptee's and Bio mom's on another board. "Birthmother" is considered highly offensive and the B.mom's do not want to be seen as "breeders".
The accepted term suggested was : natural, first or real.
This made me feel that was offensive to Adoptive mom's as that translated to them being :un-natural, second, or imaginary.
I don't want to use terms that will hurt any one, most of all the natural mothers. But i feel very sad as the suggested terms by them hurts me.
Is it just me ?
Please don't personally attack me. IMHO i think we should redefine adoption industry language. We should use terms that will give all 3 members of this triad- respect and love they deserve. Terms that all members mutually agree too.
My suggestion: Life givers= bio mom's and real mom's =Adoptive mom's. I say "real" because an AP was always around to raise the children when they most needed them in their life. Life givers because the first mother gave more than birth, she gave the gift of live when making the toughest choice with love for her child.
Please forgive me if this post hurts any one. Its not my attention to hurt. Just find answers to my feelings.
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