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He likes the feeling of hunger is what all the psychs and the feeding docs have said. They said that to just keep giving him food, even when he throws up or refuses. But that is not working. He did eat the fish sticks this morning, so that consequence seems to work, though he waited until he heard me tell my daughter that she only had ten minutes before the bus would be there. Then he ate them very fast. He has actually made himself sick by not eating. He won't eat when he is hungry. He was hospitalized for it in Poland. He went long enough this summer that he got dizzy and felt terrible. Then he finally agreed to eat a few bites and drink something. But only the very minimum to stop the symptoms. The doctors were very concerned that he was loosing weight. I have tried the rocking too, but he won't eat after. If he percieves that he is in control he gets worse. Because I knew he was eating at school last year I started just letting it go at home. Then he stopped eating at school. (this was actually good because it finally showed them there was a real problem and it was not all in my head) The psychologist he was seeing then, had me try several things that involved some sort of comprimise, but each time he would push back worse. For example, last year for a time he was throwing up every morning right before time to leave. So he was making all six kids late for school. So she suggested that I tell him that as long as he ate lunch and supper, he could skip breakfast. He promised her and promised me and was so excited. He was singing the next morning, he was so excited. Then I go to pick him up and the aid tells me all he did was play with his food at lunch. Supper that night is the same thing. We call the psych back and he tells her on the phone that he thinks if he is allowed to skip breakfast, he should be able to skip lunch and supper too. We gave it a couple of days, but had to stop because he was again loosing weight. The eating disorder specialist also said that there is a high you can get from hunger, after the pain part, you get high. She thinks he is getting that. He also no longer knows what full is. You know how when you have not eaten all day and you are starving, how after that first bite, the worst of the starvation goes away? That feeling he considers to be full, like thanksgiving full. So he is very comfortable eating only a couple of bites of food a day. He is also happy with just a few sips of water. He won't let himself get to the point where they will hospitalize him anymore, so we know his goal is not suicide. (he said that once so we watched for a while) They also said he no longer feels normal hunger. He has learned to control it. He also does not need to even put a finger down his throat to throw up, he can just tense his stomach muscles and do it. We go back to the psychiatrist next week and see if she has found a therapist for him. I am thinking now that I just need to keep him alive till get through the attachment therapy and then he will need do deal with the eating issues, becuase now it seems to be a habit. He also does not want to grow, because being little and cute is a huge part of his identity and what he uses to con adults.
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