[DebTabor]

This is the Reader's Digest version of a much longer story, but here is my question: I am an adult adoptee. My partner is a b-mom who was reunited with her daughter about 6 years ago. Daughter lived with us for some time, and is now on her own. My partner is very good at hiding it, usually, and being very kind, but has a terrible time spending time with her daughter because she can't get past the past she represents. I feel stuck - not properly supporting my partner in her pain but empathizing way too much with the daughter (I would hate to be rejected twice by my bmom - and while I know that's not the case, I know how this girl would take it).

This is the only thing we fight about, but it comes up every 6 months or so and is a huge wound for both of us. I just don't know what to do.