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Are you seeing an attachment therapist?
We were in therapy for years with our kids, in regular talk therapy, and the kids got no where.
We have four healed kids thanks to the hard work dh and I put in to attachment parenting and for the attachment therapists we've worked with.
We got our kids at 3, 5, 10, 11. We went through attachment therapy with them when they were 5, 7, 15, 16. They are all four fully attached to us now. The average time it took in AT was about a year. The older kids a little longer, the younger kids a little shorter. We're back in attachment therapy with our middle kid for a "tune up". Fell into some old habits and had to nip it in the bud.
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