[JeannineW]

I think Lucy had some good suggestions. I would reconsider the consequences though. You need to avoid issolating a child who is working on attachment. That is easier said than done. My dd would melt down for long periods of time. I finally found that I NEEDED to put her in a separate room for fear that I would lose it from her continuous screaming and do something worse than having her separated from us. I did check on her frequently and encourage her to join us as soon as she had herself together.

Could the consequence be privilege related? Maybe if the kids watch TV while you prepare dinner. Have him miss the show and help you cook or at least be in the room with you while they watch. Maybe he could help you fold laundry to make up for being mean to you. You need to make it very clear to him why he is being punished. Having the consequence so far from the act is very hard for kids to connect.

These options seem a little like rewards but they are better for bonding. I think I would avoid the writing for two reasons. 1) It can drag on and on. I think a consequence with a set time is better for everyone. It's never good to get into a power struggle. Everyone loses. 2) We homeschool and I just read the other day that making writing a punishment can set a kid up to hate writing.

I just had a different thought. Maybe reward him for getting ready and leaving well. Have a treat in hand to add to his lunch IF he leaves well. Yes, you could consider this bribery but desperate times call for desperate measures. You could also reward with special time (ex. playing a game or reading a book) after school but this wouldn't be as immediate as the treat.

Hang in there. It will get better. When our dd came home (2 1/2 yo), she would melt down all the time. "Let's go upstairs and have a snack." 30 minute melt down. Huh?? My 2 dds would fight over who got to flush the toilet or throw away a piece of trash. Something neither one would do if it hadn't been a competition. ::: sigh ::: Now (4 years later) we just have normal sibling squabbles and no one flushes the toilet!