[aclee]

It's all ocracoke's fault...

I finally broke down and talked to DH last night about adopting again privately. I told him all about how we can't afford it, and international adoption isn't right for our family and it's not what I want...BUT, my heart is somewhere in...Ethiopia. He was a little floored. He said, what about all the AA babies here? My line. AND what about a lack of communication with the bio family? Also my line. I shrugged. He sat there for a minute and he said, I'm sorry honey, I just don't think we could. I couldn't do that kind of traveling anymore...how would we know if they would be able to care for me if something went wrong while we were there? I actually BRIGHTENED when he said this and said...I actually wanted to go alone anyway. I think that surprised him. I don't want Ty to travel internationally. I want DH to stay here with Ty, and I would go get the baby. I NEVER thought DH would go for that....I didn't think he would go for any of it...even a little. But he did. I really think he could see on my face how serious I was about it. He said the line may regret forever...he said, "Do the research."
So our current plan is to wait till Jan. We're going to see what progress we can make on our house and debt by the end of January. We're going to start MAPP classes in January and begin foster care when we're approved. During spring and summer we're going to keep working on the debt we drove up with Ty's adoption. THEN late spring, early summer, we're going to think about starting an adoption in Ethiopia. If God has other plans than that for us, then hopefully he'll bring us a child through foster care. If Ethiopia is the rigth direction for us, we're going wait and find an agency that we can pay as we go (which I think most agencies are) We would specify any child younger than Tyler (just like we will with foster care) and I'm going to look for the RIGHT adoption agency...ocracoke got me a good start. IF that agency will allow gender selection...I would (Girl)...if the agency we choose, doesn't, then I wouldn't (DH preference)...I think we will think about not brand spanking new infant, but under 2 (cause Ty would likely be older than 2 before the baby came home...BUT if we got a placement through DCYF, we'll just go on the list for an infant. Which I hear takes about 18 months or more anyway

SO...we're going to just take every path we can, and see what pans out. I am going to get a book on attachement parenting though